Reason #4: The People Around You Don’t Support You
I know where I'm
going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm
free to be what I want.
Muhammad Ali
Muhammad Ali
In the last section, we discussed lack of resources,
including lack of support. In my experience, that is the biggest obstacle for
people reaching their goals. Isolation, or even downright discouragement, can
thwart even the most dedicated individual. To put it bluntly, you need a
cheering section.
Few people like change, especially change they don’t ask for
or control. Those closest to us in our everyday life have a vested interest in
keeping things – including you – the same as they’ve always been. After all, if
you lose weight/get out of debt/get a new job/quit drinking/start a new
business, what does that say about them?
There will be three groups of people in your life:
- Those who are avid encouragers. They get up early to go to the gym with you, find magazine articles on starting your own business, and offer to house-sit while you go to a conference. These people are golden!
- Those who don’t get it and don’t talk about it. They watch from the sidelines, scratching their head, as you start eating green, talk about SEO or autoresponders, and wonder what you’re up to now. They won’t actively discourage you, but the fact they don’t even ask about your latest accomplishments can leave you feeling bereft and slightly depressed.
- Those who are out to make you fail.
That sounds harsh, but it’s true; a certain group of people will not want
you to quit smoking, or find a new job. They like things just as they are,
and they take it as a rejection of them and their choices if you succeed.
Note: Unfortunately, these are often the people who are closest to us.
The solution is to minimize your contact with those who
discourage you, and maximize your contact with those who want you to succeed.
Avoidance can be tough if you happen to be married to a discourager; this is
when you’ll have to make a decision about what’s most important in your life,
maintaining the status quo or reaching your dreams.
If you need more supportive people, you can find them! Here
are some resources online to track down like-minded individuals:
- Meetup.com. Type in your city and your interest and find other small business owners, organic farmers, or model train aficionados.
- Yahoo! and Google Groups. Search for others who are interested in the same types of things you are.
- Twitter. Search by hashtag (#) for your area of interest.
- Facebook.com. Tons of pages on everything from mothers who run to pet groomers.
One other way to find supportive people: Find a coach! A
personal trainer, a business coach, a dietitian… there are tons of experienced
professionals who can help get you where you want to be. The benefits of their
experience can save you time and money as you pursue your dreams.
There’s no need to go towards your goal alone. Whether you
hire a coach or find a virtual buddy to back you up, there are people who would
love to see you succeed.
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