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Failure is success if we learn from it.
Malcolm Forbes
Any coach can point to a handful of clients who seemed to
have all the talent, resources, and determination in the world, but for some
reason, they were never able to reach their goals. They talked the talk, and
walked the walk – for a while. But suddenly, they disappear into the sunset,
becoming just a distant memory.
In my experience, it’s fear of failure that keeps these
people stuck where they are, despite their resources and skill. They somehow
figure that they’d rather be where they are, safe and sound, then venture out
into the unknown and possibly not succeed that which they’ve set out to
accomplish. They come up with every excuse in the book as to why they can’t do
such-and-such:
-It’s too cold.
-It’s too hot.
-Everyone knows you don’t start (fill in the blank) in the
summer (or winter, or fall, or spring).
-They need to take another class.
-They need to get their office ready.
-They need to wait for their youngest to start kindergarten,
their oldest to start college, their husband to die, their wife to get well.
There’s always a reason why now is not the right time – but
the real reason is that they’re simply afraid of not being able to make the
grade. And then who knows what would happen if they (gasp!) failed?
Ironically, it’s the fear of failure actually causes them to
fail! And they’re still alive, stuck in their little shell. So I guess failure
wasn’t so bad after all, was it?
When working with people who have a fear of failure,
sometimes direct questioning is the best method to get them to recognize their
obstacle:
If not now, when?
If not you, who?
If you have this goal on your heart, then it’s there for a
reason. You may be the only person who can bring that particular goal to
reality in the exact way you dream of. If you don’t do it, no one will!
The truth is, there is never going to be a perfect time to
start. And the truth is, you’ll likely have some stumbling blocks along the
way. Everyone does. But you have to reach a point where staying where you are
and never unwrapping your dream is more painful than any risk of misstep or
failure. Then, and only then, will you be prepared to move forward. And I bet
you’ll find it wasn’t anywhere near as scary as you thought it would be.
As the Nike ads say, "just do it."
As the Nike ads say, "just do it."
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