How to Have a Good Breakup

Last week I talked about the value of counseling for a couple prior to marriage or moving in together.  On the flip side of the that is the value of counseling for a couple who is separating, and possibly divorcing.

Most couples seek counseling because their relationship is in trouble and they want to save it.  It's a somewhat different mindset to decide to seek counseling after you have already decided to end the relationship.  In the first case the goal is to improve the relationship to the point that you both want to continue.  In the second case the goal is to untangle from the relationship in a way that is the least painful not only for you and your partner, but for your children, if there are any.

Breakup counseling also helps couples work through difficult issues related to separating their lives such as finances, living arrangements and issues related to their children.  By doing this with integrity and separating the grievances about the relationship from the process of dissolving the relationship, everyone involved comes out the other side in a better place emotionally.

Even when both parties agree that breaking up is the best thing to do, it is still a painful and difficult time.  By working with an objective third party, you can make the process smoother and less painful and increase the liklihood of remaining on good terms with this person who once meant the world to you.